Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Who broke the plate?

May I ask a question? Where the heck is accountability? Anyone? Lets back up another step; Who actually knows what accountability is? No takers? It has to do with knowing when you do things, and accepting the consequences.

Exhibit A: Tommy Gets mad and throws jennys favorite toy on the sidewalk. Accountability would be, “Yes I did throw her toy. I was mad, so I threw it. I did it” and eventually, much to mom and dads relief it would be “I’m sorry, I did throw the toy when I was mad and I shouldn’t have.” but that’s getting more into contrition. we wont talk about that word.

But anyways, that’s not what you hear. instead tommy either flat out says, “No I didn’t!” or “It’s her fault! She MADE me mad, and That MADE me throw her toy. It wasn’t my fault.” No accepting his own choices, why would we want to do that?

Fast forward about ten years, Tommy breaks Jenny’s heart by cheating on her. Is it, “I screwed up, Jenny. I gave in to temptation instead of walking away.”? Or is it, “She was hanging all over me! I couldn’t tell her no, I couldn’t help it! Maybe I’m just not into you anymore. If you were prettier/more understanding this never would have happened anyways.”

Or how about seven years later, when he becomes a drunk jerk. “Look, it’s not my fault. My dad was a drunk too. It’s in my blood, I can't help it.”

All the excuses people use in order to not accept responsibility. “I was drunk, I couldn’t think straight.” “Oh, but HE made me mad.” “I’m just having a hard time right now, that’s why I did that.” “I was raised to treat women/men/children that way.” Too rich, too poor, too lonely, too angry, too drunk- These things do not change the fact that You did it. YOU did it.

 You chose to drink the alcohol. you chose to give in to the temptation. You chose to not control yourself.

Alcohol impairs judgment, but it doesn’t make your decisions. you do. You can stop drinking, you can say no.

Genetics and heritage can make you more susceptible to certain temptations, but ultimately, you’re the one who gives in or seeks help. If you know that it’s a problem, then avoid it.

Temptations are hellacious to turn down, but it can be done. Ultimately, You are the one who has to say yes or no.

And when you decide to give in, own it. If you screw up, you screw up. But don’t try to explain it away as a fluke, something beyond your control. Start with simply saying, “Yes, I did.”