Monday, January 27, 2014

Open Your Minds!

Taking a break from the literary struggle that is my career to talk about something very close to my heart: Education!

Point of fact darlings: I am a nerd. I am a learn-a-holic. I LOVE to find out new things on practically any subject in the world.

When I was unable to finish college ($$Cha-Ching$$) I was very frustrated and a little heartbroken, because I loved being in the classes (The administrative B.S. was too much, but that’s another subject). Even when I had self important professors who didn’t like being challenged, I was still able to stretch my mind and learn new things. I thrived on the environment.

But in retrospect, going to college was a major waste of money and debt. I don’t regret going in the least, but the ONLY reason I went was because I wanted to learn. I had no specific degree in mind, I didn’t need one for my chosen career. I just wanted to take classes, which I could have done by myself, for exponentially less capital.

I am not discouraging people from college, per se. I am the biggest supporter of people seeking a higher education and learning new things. I’m just saying the colleges and universities are not the only places you can get educated.

I read this blog earlier today. It more concretely shows what I’m raving about.

Tuesday, January 21, 2014

The Struggle Remains


This, ladies and gentlemen is the sound of my brain (Don’t ask why it’s grieving in Spanish. I’m sure it has it’s reasons). I think that writer’s block is the cruelest joke God has ever played. Seriously! How am I supposed to work with this??

Sigh… I’ve been trying for the last seven days to make some forward progress, but my dear characters have refused.Seven days of feeling like a failure because, “This is my job, my career! I should be able to wrestle this story out and make it sit on the page like a good little… inanimate object.”

But alas, the struggle remains. I could blame it on the crazy, distracting and messy life and my hyper analytical brain but really, why taint myself? My lack of productivity is simply what it is: LAME.

But I digress. Working on concept art for The Return of Masonry, which reminded me of some I have drawn for The Rooftops of London. I should dig them out and share them soon I think. I’ll keep you posted.

Sunday, January 12, 2014


When you stand on a precipice,
upon the very edge of something and nothing,
It's hard to drag your eyes from the scenery.
You stand, looking at the vast sea
of possibilities before you and think;
Good God, could all that possibly be for me?
Am I really worth all that?
What if I can't reach it?
It all seems so far away,
It couldn't possibly be for me.

Then you look back at all you've come through;
The dust, the mud, the rocky terrain.
All those high points and low points of your life,
Your Journey.
For a minute you believe the lies
That you're too dirty,
too broken,
too low to even achieve that valley below you.

And for just a second, you turn away;
ashamed, humiliated, embarrassed.

Look in the mirror.
Look at all those battle scars,
The places where the rough road dragged you,
Where the spears and arrows whizzed past
And made you give everything you had just to reach the next harsh plain.

Now look at the person beneath those scars.
Do you see the shoulders still bearing the weight?
The heart that still beats stubbornly?
The soul that still yearns to dance?

The world would see your scars and say you're tired;
worn out, bedraggled... used up.

But that is not what the scars say.

The scars say,

“I have been through the battle and survived.
I have fought, to my very last strength,
And come out stronger.
I have faced the desert, the blizzard,
And every foul enemy in front of me

And I am STILL here.

I have earned my stripes,
I have earned my place here
on the precipice.”

So look in the mirror.
What do you choose to see?
Because what you choose will decide
How many of the possibilities
Are yours.

Monday, January 6, 2014

Week One As a Published Author

You know what I hated most about college? Feeling stupid. Not in the classes; I was perfectly suited to those. No, what made me feel stupid was trying to jump through the administrative hoops in order to attend said classes.

As a freshman at university, you are thrown into a whirlwind of legalese, bureaucracy and process with only half an idea how to accomplish what you need. “Sign this, fill this out, pick the top five choices for where you want to live/eat/study- and oh by the way, cash, debit or loan? And would you like fries with that?”

And no matter how hard you research and study and prepare, you are hopelessly stuck in the space of, “Holy crap! What did I get myself into??”

This is the feeling I have revisited this past week as I try to navigate the waters of publishing and marketing.

I have spent the past seven years researching how to become an author. I have spent the past 2 years specifically reading blogs and books about how to self publish. I have participated in discussions, asked questions and watched other authors do ‘their thing’.

And yet, I STILL feel like I’m missing that crucial information, that golden key that will tell me if I’m “doing it right.”

Beneath my girlish squealing and hyperventilation, I have realized that I’m Okay.

I have accomplished my goal to get published, in the timeframe I had intended (No small feat, let me tell you!) and I have been ‘pre-seasoning” the market and building my fan base for over a year, so I honestly think I have a decent handle on my PR. but all the same…

Holy Crap! Look what I got myself into!!

This really is an exciting time for me. Knowing that people have bought my book throws me into giggle fits, at the same time as I’m biting my nails and trying not to hover over my reviews page. And I truly am figuring out this marketing thing, even if I feel a bit out of my element.

Now, to finish the next book! The return of Masonry will be coming soon folks! Stay tuned for blurbs and musings as I flush out the story of Alanor, and the crazy life she chooses for herself!