Monday, May 2, 2016

Return of the Daisy Queen!

The warm golden sun brings out the vibrant colors of late spring. The damp and dew glistens in the shade, adding sparkling, and mirroring the effervescent mood in the air. 

Bright reds and golds, deep oranges and pure white flutter in the breeze as the merry crowds string banners from their windows hustling and humming in anticipation; She’s come back.

A great gasp ruffles through the crowd at the first tone of trumpet. She’s here! She’s here! Oh happy day, Make way now! Make way for the Queen!

The jangle of bridles and clop of hooves precedes the first glimpse of pale horses. A cheer of excitement races through the crowds now! Each dappled horse of the vanguard brushed to a glossy sheen, The vanguard themselves with proud bearing and smiles as they present Her, finally and at long last. And Daisies, everywhere daisies for her Ladyship.

The creak of chariot wheels upon the sun-warmed earth, and the crowds begin to sing, unable to contain the joy.

Perhaps it’s vain and silly to toot my own horn, but it’s taken me so long to get back in the swing of things. I truly feel like I’m stepping out again into the world after being sequestered away, healing and tending my wounds.

Last week marked the first time since December that I made real progress on my work. I jumped back in and solved some plot issues (no spoilers) and made serious headway on getting The Trivial Venture 2: A Risky Gamble ready for betas.

it also marked the moment when I got truly mad at myself for acting like anything less than myself.
It’s the worst feeling when you know you’re behaving less than you are, but cannot muster the courage to stop. I had a moment of fear and neuroses last week, and was so completely disgusted with myself for it. the careful hesitance I have learned from my wounds took over, and I made a bigger deal of something so completely trivial. I acted completely counter to my nature, and was horrified to realize I had allowed myself to sink so low.

The events are meaningless and immaterial now, but the result is a new resolve; I have worked hard to become the person I am, and I will not let the phantom of pain and loss turn me into anything else. It is not worth my time.

I will be me. And maybe that won’t always be easy, or socially astute, but at least I will know where I stand. I will know who I am at all moments. and that is worth my time.

Walking before Her chariot was the herald, shouting to be heard above the crowd:

“Behold: The shining star of Kingdom!
Queen of the Isles of Sun,
Heiress to the realm of Sky and Sea,
Daughter of the true High King!
Champion over the dragon of Abyss!
She walks among the lions and settles with the doves, and at long last, she has come home!
Behold our Lady of Daisies.


Behold and hail the Queen!”