Monday, August 25, 2014

Everyday Beauty Queens

Let me just hit the nail on the head: Health has NOTHING to do with your clothing size.

Nothing. Period.

Don’t turn me off yet, listen to my words.
Clothing is made to fit your physical dimensions, not your physical fitness level. It is not a definition of your health status. If you are broad in shoulder and/or hip, you’re going to wear a bigger size than the willowy girl next to you. Not because she’s healthier, but because you are built on entirely different frames. There’s no comparison.

I have a wide, very sturdy very German bone frame. (think of Brunhilde the Valkyrie, and you’ve pretty much got it. Minus the horns… and armor made out of dinner plates) It’s genetic, it’s how my body grew.
I will never be able to trade clothes with my beautiful petite Filipino friends. I’m about half a foot wider, not to mention taller. It’s just not gonna work.
But, that doesn’t make either of us unhealthy.

At my healthiest, when my hips and legs were all toned and my tummy and back held each other in line, I was still a size 16. But I felt great! I don’t expect to ever get below that, because my hip bones themselves are just that wide.

So, when you look in the mirror and start critiquing your body (as we all do) this is what you should look for:

1. Does your body meet your daily requirements?
Can you chase your kids/animals, do your chores and make it from point A to B without dying?

2. Does your body need rest? Nourishment?
Having fixed those, are you still worn down?

And 3. For those of you that really need to be challenged somehow:
If the zombie ninjas attacked tonight, Could you escape before being caught and eaten??

If you answered “no” to any of the above, you may need to l change some things. And that’s okay too.

But if you answered yes; Honey, give yourself a break! You’re fine!
Strut your stuff in your size 22 Curveliscious jeans and find something else to worry about!

Friday, August 22, 2014

Everyday Dragons

The biggest frustration in life is realizing that nothing goes according to plan- made all the more frustrating in how often we have to learn it.

It’s been impressed upon me (a lot recently) how transitory my current life balance is.
I’m an in-home nanny to four amazing nieces and nephews. My wages are of the “Room and Board” variety (and the regular supply of coffee), as well as dedicated time to work on my writing and further my actual career.
It’s the perfect gig for me, I love it! Unfortunately for me, our kids are growing up (as they tend to do) and with that shift I am needed less and less, and in the next year or so I won’t be needed at all.

So here I’m looking at my next couple years, looking at my work output and revenue from my writing and thinking, “Shit, how am I gonna make this work?”

Research suggests I need at least five books (and a dedicated audience) to actually make a livable profit of writing; It took me a year to publish my first book, and I’m pushing two years to get my second on paper, let alone published. 
I can forward my poetry and short stories a little, but honestly: Solvent in two years? On top of keeping up on my day job in the process and not keeling over from everything? I’m a bit daunted.

I’ve tried having a “real” day job and writing before and it’s… doable. But even as draining as the kids are most days, I’ve gotten so much more done in the last two years than I did working 9-5. The harsh reality is: it still might not be enough.

Hence, my family pushing me to make a plan. Be realistic. Not take a sweet(short term) deal for granted.

It’s not like I planned to be living this way. Honestly, I never dreamed of living in my brother’s garage at 25, making two bucks a month. That wasn’t in my plan.
I expected to be profitable by now: a rock star writer with my own family, my own horde of kids to torture and enjoy. I was gonna have a big kitschy, shabby chic house full of noise and food and art, music pouring out all day long.

What I have is a funky little garage, with cool mismatched furniture. I’ve got my dog, and the kids I borrow. I have art: Funky silly murals and drawings I and my family have done. And I have a stereo speaker in my window so I can blare tunes to the back yard. It’s a pretty kickass substitute, really. And I treasure every little moment. But it’s not exactly the dream, is it?

So here I sit; stressing myself out, trying to line up a two year plan to not give up on the dream, trying not to burn out on the little things I’ve always loved but haven’t owned myself.

God save me from Best Laid Plans, right?

Tuesday, August 19, 2014

Teenage Vampire Zombie Ninjas

Trying to write with four kiddos climbing over me, throwing things and yelling at- well, the universe- is very difficult (go figure).

I try and work around their schedule and in between dousing fires (figuratively thank god!), but being non-schedule oriented I end up having a complete meltdown and sending myself to my room. *wahahaha!*
I lack the capability to work while doing other things; somehow playing "Princess Ninja Skylander Lego World" while writing an emotionally heart wrenching scene doesn't work.
I'd love to get out of the house and write but let's face it: I'm the Nanny of four kids. When am I actually going to have time and energy to get out of the house?

So problem solving!

The last few times I've sat down to work I've set myself a literal timer, and it's amazing how much difference it's made!

Just 1-1.5 hours that I tell myself not to look at Facebook, talk to the kids or fall asleep, and I get really great quality work done!
Just today I finished one whole scene and started another!
I reach the end of the day without gnashing my terrible teeth at anyone, while still doing enough work to not feel like a failure! So I count this as a win.

Anyways a bit scrambled today, but wanted to share this little victory.