Tuesday, November 10, 2015

Second Verse, Same as the First…

Ten days into National Novel Writing Month, and I’ve found that the weather has gotten decidedly chilly in my corner of the world. Perfect days for cuddling up with a steamy cup of coffee and refusing to “Adult,” as we’ve been saying on Facebook.

Unfortunately for my rather feline tendencies, Adulting is a necessary part of life.

NaNoWriMo is becoming an interesting circus act for me this time around; With all the moving about I’ve done this year, I don’t have as many outside events competing for my time and brain power, but I have replaced them with new ventures of my own (I’m one of those weird people who actually doesn’t like being free from responsibilities. I like being needed and making a difference). The change in life pace hasn’t freed up my time as some would think. Instead, I’m having to practice more clever time management techniques: It’s not enough to simply wait til I get off work. I’m self employed, I’m always ‘on’ work. So, the juggling act continues, with different batons sailing through the air.

It’s easy to be nostalgic for things once they’ve passed, but that’s not actually what this post is about. I’m growing to appreciate the time to reflect and recharge after 10 straight months of craziness. It’s a pleasant change, even if my personal stressors feel more profound.

The point is: The more things change, the more they stay the same. It’s one of those trite little proverbs that always holds true. I’ve seen so many people recently who think a change in venue means a change in problems, a change in heart.

I still struggle with the same character defects now that I did last year, or even ten years ago- and I’ve been in a lot of different places, with different people in all that time. I still find myself struggling not to overburden myself with problems to fix, projects to occupy my overactive mind. I find myself striving and pushing for things I really, really want and feeling like they’ll never get there. And the only way I conquer all of those things is by changing myself, not my circumstances. I have to let go sometimes. I have to tell myself “No,” Which is perhaps why a self employed status works so well for me: it forces me to acknowledge that, and hold myself to it.

The point is: Take ownership of your circumstance. If you don’t like it, address it. See what you can let go of. Don’t run away and expect the problems to disappear.

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